this used to be my mothers coat

before that it was my mothers mothers coat

and before that my mothers mothers mothers

my mother wanted me to inherit the coat

she wanted me to wear the coat

walk with the coat

I would tell her it's impossible for me to walk in the coat

the coat is a person non grata

the coat represents suffering torture and murder

people might throw paint at me

or misunderstand who I am

my mother felt the coat was so very old surely it was better to use it

than not to use it

otherwise the animals died for no reason

I didn't want to represent what the coat represented

I am stubborn

so the coat remained

mostly

in the darkness of my mothers closet

my mother died

I took the the coat home with me

my inheritance

I actually wore it a couple of times

no paint was thrown at me

but still

it represents what it represents

inevitability

I put it back

into the darkness